Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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