I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
