with your own penis?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
