i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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