A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Someone signed my nipple.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize