just come out here and I will go home with you...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
