It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
