Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
