dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
