But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
