Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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