I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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