No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
