So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
