i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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