question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
