It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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