His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
