We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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