What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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