Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
