Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
