I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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