Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
nutella sex= disaster
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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