let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
