We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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