Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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