Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
