Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
