saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
