Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
