the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
