He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My ass is underappreciated
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
