Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
