I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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