he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
