I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
