My nipple is on Facebook.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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