Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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