are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize