I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
