Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
