I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
