he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
