you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
