just tell him i said nine months
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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