; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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