as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
