nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize