May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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