Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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