I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize