I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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