Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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