Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
