at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
