her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
