We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
