Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
