how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
