he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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