you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
