Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
