So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
