Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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