Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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