my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
