My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize