i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
